The roughest time in running my own business is always when all the design has been done for the jobs I’m working on and you don’t have a new project to jump into. In the last couple of weeks we presented all the jobs that we’ve been working on and we’ve installed the jobs that were completed – which is always fun. At the moment there are a few jobs lolling about in the estimating and preparing-construction-documents phase.
What this means for me is that I don’t have a new love affair to get involved in – and while I’m not being 100% literal here, to me every new job is a love affair! Not having one makes me feel very useless, a little fidgety. When you have staff, they have their to-do lists to get through and I’m just the point guy who gives them their assignments. But they’re working and I have no cake to bake at the moment.
When talking to my shrink about it she described it as that moment where you, instead of always looking for the next big thing, should be able to focus on the present. I have a project that I’m very excited about – it’s progressing and it looks wonderful and things are happening, but it’s that fix of having a new job to work on that’s missing. I think I’m a new-job-junkie. (Not that I want one every day, because that would be overdosing.) But it’s that insecurity of not being wanted or needed anywhere. I wish we could just learn to be happy with what we have and not always be on the lookout for the next high. Life would be so much simpler…
I’m really enjoying your blog and can’t believe you have the time to even write one! I don’t have enough time to devote to mine, and I’m not you…ha! Just wanted to tell you I love getting the inside scoop from a true blue professional designer’s point of view; It’s amazing that the topics you present can apply to us part-time decorators, too. Anyway, this post in particular is illuminating. I would have thought you were full of satisfaction with the great work you do. Learning to live in the present is one of life’s greatest lessons, I think. Why not take your “down time” as a chance to re-invigorate and re-inspire (?)…museums, books, magazines, movies, sunny days, watching your work come to life…so much to enjoy!
Hi VICENTE! {I finally spelled your name write
Sorry writing it wrong other times…}
GOOD MORNING!
I know, I know… “the felling”. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about that… the fact of never been satisfied with what we have!… Too bad for us! Your shrink’s advice is right, and as you said life should be simpler… But is not that simple for us… Sometimes my job is simplify my own life. It’s a too hard job, isn’t it?!
Hum… interesting…”not being wanted or needed”!? I am going to talk with my shrink about that today. I might have the same insecurities too!
Thanks for sharing, VICENTE!
Life is just giving you a little breather before your next big challenge………so enjoy it. Maybe you have time to do a little giftwrap? LOL!
I think we all need a bit of down time, even while our mind may be dreaming of a new design work,of art, inspirations. The excitement of what is next is very exhilarating!
totally know what you mean – when i have down time i print off floor plans from buildings i would love to work in and make arch changes to them and then the furn plans too -
I LOVE HAVING NOTHING TOO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE TO CLEAN THE HOUSE AND GARDEN AND HAVE THE FEW CLIENTS THAT I HAVE… I AM NOT AN A TYPE AND LOVE THE “CAFE LIFE”…
IS THERE ANY ONE LIKE ME?????
LOVE YOGA EVERY OTHER DAY ALSO…
TEA AT THREE EVERY DAY AND COOKING THE MEALS AND IN THE SUMMER SPENDING ALL MY TIME OUTDOORS…
TOO MANY THINGS MAKE ME FEEL SO STRESSED THAT I CAN NOT FUNCTION…
XXOO
MELISSA
Vicente – I certainly have the same need to be the one asked to the dance and then design a few new steps. I think it’s perfectly natural to feel edgy in between new projects. But I hope you have enough moments of happiness intertwined. I began to write that all your accomplishments, like your unparalleled body of work, two great homes (one conveniently above the shop!), doting clients (the good ones), time for photography, the theater, travel, and charity work, and list of admirers here should mitigate your mood.
But I suspect that the same edgy drive that got you where you are today continues to drive you. I think we can all try to be at peace with our heightened sense of awareness and needs. And I think we can try to accept world as it is, not as we would have it, and take the edge off the grief we feel from the problem-makers and promise-breakers that you so well describe. Anxiety is the companion of everything worthwhile. So lastly I believe we should all take some moments to disengage our brains through meditation, music, theater, yoga, etc, all of which goes with a good glass of wine, and rest ourselves for the next onslaught of drive and creativity. I watched a couple youtube videos of you presenting at the Las Vegas event in Sept 2009, and you were SO animated and funny. I hope you feel that way most of the time. Does that help? – Gary
hahha oh my gosh i feel the same way!!! literally before i read this (like 20 mins ago) I was just saying to my husband that I need to work better to space projects so that i’m always designing a new project instead of multiple starting at the same time & then ending with a wait period before the next.
i so get this & constantly in our house we have to remind each other “be in the present moment”
-Lauren @ Pure Style Home
Gary…it does. Thank you.
GARY YOU SAID IT SO WELL….
YOU MADE ME FEEL BETTER ALSO…
XXOO
MELISSA
Hi Vincente,
I have come to understand that my biggest challenge will be not to accept life, or others, but myself. I find that looking outside for this acceptance can leave me feeling empty. Leave others feeling draned. Gary is right on. What gives you the ability to be as wonderful as I believe you are is also at times what you see as your insecurity. Insecurity from lack of engagement with a new project , can feel like lack of validation
of onces self. Projects can bring much turmoil, and much joy. You must bring self validation to your table. It is interesting to me how those of us who do not have this gift, the gift of security and self validation, seek it elswhere. The more I learn to accept myself, the more present and in the present I find I can be. This is not an easy task, but a daily practice. You have accomplished so much, and give so much to others of yourself.
Practice giving some back to you. I don’t know you personally, but your ability to reach out is your wonderful gift. Sometimes our gifts came at some sort of price early on. Spend some time trying to be ok with your fear of nothingness, just sit with it. See what happens.
You might find it is just fine.
Good Luck
CINDY YOU ALSO, MAKE ME FEEL WONDERFUL WHEN I HEAR YOU TALK TO VICENTE ABOUT THAT SPACE WHERE THERE IS NO PROJECTS COMING IN AND WHAT STARTS TO SURFACE AT THAT TIME…
AND I CAN SAY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE AND OFTEN STILL THERE THAT OUR GIFT COME FROM SOME EARLY TIME IN OUR LIVES WHERE OFTEN WE HAD TO SELF CREATE OURSELVES BECAUSE THERE WAS NOT ONE PERSON IN OUR LIVES THAT COULD GIVE A SENSE OF SAFTEY AND REAL AFFECTION AND LOVE… SO, I MY MIND NO MATTER WHAT PROFESSION YOU ARE IN WHEN IT CALMS DOWN THESE FEELINGS THAT WE DON’T HAVE TO FEEL WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD COME RIGHT UP TO THE SURFACE… AND I THINK THEY ARE THERE SCREAMING TO BE HEARD… LISTEN
XXOO
MELISSA
Preach on, brother Vincente! When you run at a high level for so long you almost don’t know what to do with yourself. I say hit some of the great exhibits premiering at NYC museums right now so when the next project comes along, you’ve got tons of fresh inspiration to draw from.
Just this morning I was talking with a friend about exactly this subject. How I hate this moment when a project ends I do not have something in the pipeline…it makes me antsy and irritable, like I loose something essential from my life. Which is true in a way!
Usually I concentrate on other things for a while – and thank godness there are plenty around me and something pops up unexpected.
As I came home today someone had just send me an email and ask for help!
Here you go, small, but the next step!
I believe things come to you in time, I am sure you have expirienced this too!
XX
Victoria
Yes it is that space of nothing that I am talking about. It is also the wonderful, serendipitis moment of clarity that without the one there would be no other. I told my husband the other night that this profession is perfect for how my mind works. Not from a design prospective, I hope that is in line, but from an emotional point of view. I am always thinking about something, ruminating, struggling to see clarity. Day and night. This profession suits that need, and fills empty space or the fear there of, with something, well, wonderful!, The other can be scary, to me at least at times, the emptiness can be the most threatening. This particular field of creativy and work is different than other more structured fields, it allows one never ending thought. Although I feel safer in the never ending thought of a project, or a proposed project, or the hope of a project. I feel it is important to the exceptance of ones self to stop and let the other feelings and thoughts surface. A good therapist once said that fear will not kill you. Too much stress will though.
Something to think about isn’t it?
I always feel that I am as creative as my last job.I am in the same situation at the time, my assistants grinding away at their to do list and no new design job signed yet, for me to refuel my creative juices. So i apply all my emotions, my creativity, energy to my newly relocated showroom. After 15 years downtown, I took the plunge (dealt with the high level of fear) and moved to 58th street to a very contemporary space.
Hope you can join us for our opening party on May 12th.
Vincente,
You phrased it so well. I related 100% to your sentiments about the new job ‘fever’. I have actually caught myself getting a bit depressed when the pipeline is getting empty.
I don’t do down time well …..
Suzanne
It’s not that I don’t utilize my time – that’s how I’ve done three books. Travel, work on the showroom and gardening in Montauk… But as a new-job-junkie, one more is always better.
Be careful what I ask for, you say? I can handle two, three, four, five jobs at once. I can multitask and as I have a short attention span I can jump from one project to the other and work them all at the same time.
No new-job-junkie has limits of how many fixes they need. I’ve been one for many years, after all!
YOU GO VICENTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAY YOUR SPRING AND SUMMER BE FILLED WITH NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY TO COMPLETE EACH AND EVERY PROJECT………
XXOO
MELISSA