Each time I don’t listen to my gut, I pay the price. And I’ve come to realize that sometimes it is better to face the music at the beginning than to try and fool yourself into looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.
Recently I had a prospective client come back to me after two years and we started the process all over again. The first time we got the ball rolling and they just disappeared – much to our frustration at the time, and after hours spent working on this project. Well, they came back now, professing to wanting to start work immediately and being very excited about working with us – both here and at VW Home. We had a one and a half hour meeting where, from my recollection of the house, we discussed what could work and what wasn’t working and I gave them some really good ideas. They asked for a contract, it was sent out.
A week went by. We followed up a few times and the phone calls were not returned. Then we finally received one to inform us that they had decided that they wanted to work with their contractor and were going to be managing the process themselves.
The thing is, when they first came back I had a sense in my gut that the same thing was going to happen, but I wished for better. And when it did (again), I went through the whole “What did I do” / “What did I say” / “Too many ideas” / “Not enough ideas” and after beating myself up a little. Mostly thanks to my shrink I realized that it had repeated itself from the first time and it had nothing to do with me. I had put my best foot forward and that this is just they way some people work.
You need to listen to your instinct and when something seems to be one way, don’t disregard it. Certainly look at it and question your role in it, but don’t beat yourself up. I’m guessing that, had we gone down this road with these clients, the same thing would’ve happened in some form or the other. I know it happens to many other designers and invariably you end up question yourself. But sometimes you look at situations and you just know.
Have you had this happen to you?
#1 by mandy on July 26, 2010 - 1:41 pm
This sometimes happens to us when we are doing space planning work. The client will take our plans (that have taken weeks to finalize) and have a contractor construct from the feasibility plans and rough design concepts, cutting us out of the process. These are not ‘high design’ jobs, but it hurts to lose the work non-the-less. We’ve learned a few tricks to mostly prevent this but it still happens. Sometimes we can see this type of ‘client’ coming but honestly in this economy we don’t turn down work..
#2 by Karena on July 26, 2010 - 2:32 pm
Oh so true, and can be so frustrating and then self blame occurs. As you say Vicente, it is almost always about them and not ourselves. Those basic instincts are indeed very imporatant to heed.
Karena
Art by Karena
#3 by Heather on July 26, 2010 - 3:05 pm
It’s easier when it isn’t a tempting job….heaaded that way at the moment myself..ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
#4 by Parker Bennett on July 26, 2010 - 3:07 pm
Get out of my head! I don’t know what’s more upsetting: that so many people are out there like this or that I let it get to me. Of course it happens, two out of three times I’d say for a given prospect. You know it, the fabulous first interview – the laughing, the excitement, the connection – much like a first date! Then, nothing …
What’s worse, is we recently took a project that we KNEW in our gut we shouldn’t take. That contract was signed in hours, the retainer check arrived the next day. The client ended up being a lunatic with a fly by night “contractor” who had their ear. No sooner did the contract arrive did the deluge of three-page emails telling us how to manage the project, what they intended to purchase and how anything we spec’d must be with no lead times.
Truth is, many people (not all) with $$ to spend got it for a reason – behaving a certain way – and my shrink suggests that many of them often suffer from some kind of mental illness. So, all we can do is sympathize.
Long live the creative process!
#5 by Judith Thibaut Interiors on July 26, 2010 - 7:12 pm
Your comment about “too many or too few ideas” rings a familiar note with me. It’s always a fine line . I really feel that we essentially have two things to sell: Our ideas & our ability to implement them . When someone feels free to steal those ideas and attempt the implementation themselves … . . .
I think they generally get what they deserve !
Judith
#6 by Ann @ Rose et Lis on July 26, 2010 - 7:48 pm
I’ve had to learn the hard way also. Now when I get that feeling in my stomach, I listen to it. It’s hard to tell a client that you don’t think you are compatible, but when I’ve done that, I haven’t regretted it!
You know, I never would have thought it would happen to a “famous” person also. Thanks for your honesty!
-Ann
#7 by Brillante on July 26, 2010 - 7:54 pm
I guess the first consultation was free? If you spent almost two hours with them and gave ideas you should have been paid, no free consultations I was reminded many times.
I hope everything will go wrong in their project, that is what they deserve stealing your time and ideas.
#8 by Christine Schwalm Design on July 26, 2010 - 9:41 pm
Vicente you are so right. The only times in my life I’ve been truly unhappy are when I didn’t listen to myself. But you know, when business is slow, you tell the little voice to shut up because it is time to pay the bills! And @Parker Bennett–you are so funny. It IS just like a first date.
#9 by yvonne jacobs on July 26, 2010 - 10:23 pm
It is comforting to hear that this happens to everyone – even VW! The self doubt that follows is the worst, I think we can safely say that it truly is them and not us….we are all fabulous! ha!
In today’s age of information, I am finding that a client will come to our firm and know all about the us before they even step in the door – the dynamics of the interview are shifting. We are currently looking at ways to improve this process in our firm.
#10 by Gary Cruz on July 26, 2010 - 11:55 pm
Thank you for this post! This happened to me recently and I lost a lot of sleep over it, I kept thinking I did something wrong, and that this doesn’t happen to other designers.
Your openness on this issue was refreshing and very helpful to me.
#11 by Michelle on July 27, 2010 - 3:03 am
Best to find out early…but my instinct has not always been good! I tend to expect good will from everyone.The bad ones give contrast to the good ones.
Best,
Michelle
#12 by Daniel Hale on July 27, 2010 - 5:47 am
Easier said than done I think. Usually after the fact I have this clear as day hindsight about how my gut instinct had it just right…..I just was not listening. Actually I think it is really good advice, Starts bad, it usually ends worse. Sometimes our optimism can get the better of us. I think in this business part of the job is protecting/nurturing/feeding your creativity. sometime you are protecting it for the next client that WILL appreciate it.
#13 by Caroline on July 27, 2010 - 7:44 am
Vicente… the stars must be aligned for you to write about this today! I hope this story will provide some comfort… know that you are not alone. A very good friend of mine just left this morning after a short visit to CA. My friend works for a top NY interior design firm, and while the firm isn’t well known to the masses, their client list is seriously A+ (their marketing D-). In the past the firm decorated the home of a very famous and extremely wealthy actor and his family. Beautiful pics of the home and family were published in a major magazine. Last year actor’s wife calls firm asking for a proposal for their new ski home. Actor’s wife rejects proposal… says she doesn’t like any of it. A few weeks or months go by and actor’s wife’s assistant starts calling design firm, “remember that sofa you showed Mrs. X for her ski home… we were just wondering who made it and which fabric it was that you were recommending… and also what was the deal with the dining room table again? and just one more thing…” Apparently, actor’s wife’s assistant put the place together based on rejected proposal. Now they are at it again, asking for a submission for their new NY place. My friend’s firm, against better judgement and gut instincts, shared their plans and ideas only to be told again by actor’s wife none of it is any good. Now the firm is waiting for the phone calls from the assistant to start ringing through with more questions about those rejected design ideas. I don’t know if it’s craziness, greed, or a feeling of entitlement that causes people to behave this way. Don’t let someone’s negative energy bring you down!
#14 by Karen Davis on July 27, 2010 - 9:50 pm
There is nothing like instinct… I wish I would listen to mine more… Great post!
#15 by Debi Burton on July 27, 2010 - 10:58 pm
Vicente, I’ve been a purveyor of antiques/vintage decorative arts for 25 years in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve poured over Architectural Digest, Elle Decor, Veranda, Southern Accents and numerous other shelter mags for equally as long, trying to educate myself and determine buying trends, latest colors, etc. To me, you are one of THE BEST and should be treated with appreciation and respect. It’s unbelievable this has happened to you repeatedly, and I’m amazed someone of your high calibre would be treated this way. It happens to me frequently, and I’ve adopted a pretty tough but professional stance about people stealing my ideas–no giveaways and hold those boundaries!
Clearly, this is a problem in our culture. Some people use this tough economy as an excuse to change their moral fiber from being how they “should” act to what they *think* they can “get away with”! It’s a self-centered disease of our times, exposing a tremendous lack of compassion and fear of not getting enough . . . with a willingness to accomplish goals by trampling on the backs of others. Thanks for sharing–it really helps to recognize the problem lies in the character (or lack thereof) in some clients.
#16 by Cynthia on July 28, 2010 - 1:08 am
So crazy to think even VW goes through this! I am learning with time to listen to the “gut” feeling and believe! Had a prospective client last year, knew at our first meeting our personalities wouldn’t mesh, but went ahead anyway. Many hours later, and many assurances from her that “I don’t use people”, this woman announced she didn’t like the ideas and wasn’t going to pay me. Later heard from the design center she’d been calling to purchase all the things I had recommended.
Yes, I beat myself up over it, but learned from the experience. And learning is worth something, however painful it may feel at the time!
#17 by Elise Lowerison on July 30, 2010 - 11:30 pm
It is true, you must go with your gut when it comes to creativity, whether that be in interior design or anything else for that matter. I came across your post this afternoon while browsing interior design blogs and the topic of window treatment selection was very interesting to me. It is true that you must dress your windows appropriately to bring out their true beauty. Thank you for writing and as a special thanks to you and your readers, I would like to offer a 20% off coupon using this code upon checkout: BLG20.
#18 by yvonne on August 1, 2010 - 9:59 pm
great post…most of us have a similar experience (or two) and it is important for us to share and discuss it with each other…thank you for sharing.
#19 by Paula Grace on August 3, 2010 - 3:17 am
Wow! This just happened to me today. A client I had worked with 2 years ago called again recently. We did start working together but I feared it would turn into what happenbed before ~ a lot of wonderful ideas and items but nothing satisfied the client. Sure enough, it did. each piece, each idea was questioned. I wondered with her why she wanted to work with a designer. She said she wanted to get it ‘right.’ But she did not take my suggestions or advice and wanted to return anything she ordered. We had the restocking fee and return shipping cost conversation so many times it was silly. I had already decided to end this professional relationship because it was stressful and lacked any pleasure for me. BUT she ‘fell in love with a set of chests’ and that order was outstanding ~ the chests looked differently in the few pictures she saw. I explained that the color can vary in pictures quite a bit plus since it was a natural product, the color/finish CAN be different. I recommended she cancel the order prior to shipping as she was sure she did not want the darker version. I placed everything in writing even though it was explicit in our contract ~ restocking fee and cost to ship back ~ and again recommended that she not purchase them and a full refund would be hers (they had not yet shipped). “No, no! I want them!” Sure enough, the moment she laid eyes on them, she did not like the finish and didn’t want them. Luckily she was at the reciever’s as she wanted to pick them up herself. I asked the reciever if there was any damage to the chests “NO.” The client expected a full refund. I stated clearly ~ “No, restocking fee and cost to send back is….” She took the chests home to “make them work.” I sent her a carefully written note ending the professional relationship ~ a clause I also have in my contract ~ how to end it. Thank God! You’re right ~ I should have listened to my gut in the first place!
#20 by Roxana on December 29, 2010 - 7:51 pm
I think if you are in the industry it has happened to you or it will happen to you.. It is very discouraging sometimes as you always put your best work out to get that client…